A Response To The Latest Question, 'Are Women Funny?'

Lately, all of my social media news feeds are clogged full of memes claiming that women aren't funny. Like, WTF? Not funny? Dude, who gave you Parks and Recreation? Amy Poehler, a woman, that's who! How many viewers does Ellen DeGeneres have? Women have been doing nothing lately but prove how funny they are! Just go onto a site like Tumblr and you will see it for yourself. I'm a female, and I've often had people laugh at my jokes (not just at my face). 

After getting to see the new Ghostbusters film with Melissa McCarthy, you know, the one with all the women? Yeah that one, the one that was actually given a blessing by the original cast. I loved it! I even heard my brother laugh next to me. Yet when we left he said that he was disappointed and felt that there hadn't been enough comedy.

Confessions of a Serial Friendzoner.

I promised myself I would get back to updating between now and September, and this is dedicated to a friend of mine I am currently on holiday with, and who I always tend to debate feminist ideology with. This is for you x

Everyone loves to complain.
And when it comes to feminism, or women putting their foot down, they love to complain about being friend-zoned. You know those guys, right? They don't believe in feminism, instead arguing that it does nothing for men? We all know at least one.
It's a topic that seems to re-emerge now and again, and I've noticed it cropping its ugly head up again lately.

I confess, I'm guilty. I've said no to a few guys in my two decades on this planet. Most of them were lovely people, funny, smart, filled with good intentions. And I enjoyed being in their company too. They were some of the best people I got to know in my life, and I would do anything to prevent hurting their feelings just like with my female friends, but what I can't do, is prevent these feelings being hurt if it means compromising myself in the process.

It's not a case of refusing to settle for second best, although to all women, and men, out there I suggest you don't settle for second best.

Wouldn't I be the bigger villain in the story if I were to just say yes and lead these people on, knowing that I don't feel the same way? How do you know what love is if you're not supposed to have felt anything like it before?

Admittedly, whenever I've been asked out, it has just had a negative effect on me. It feels like a horrible joke, and someone is just going to laugh. Or it feels like the other person is just doing it because their settling for second best, and I know that they can do better than me. But this post isn't about my insecurities, it's about giving a voice to all of those people who have been villainized because they friend-zoned someone.  When you are still a friend to someone (thus the title FRIENDzone), it means that that person still cares for the person asking them out and that they still want them around in their life, it doesn't mean that they should just leave once someone says 'no'.
I once said no to a guy I knew for over ten years and he kinda just disappeared in and out of my life for a while. But whenever we meet nowadays we always have great and honest conversations and everything is easy breezy.
There was another guy who asked me out after four years (looking back we weren't even that close of friends when we were hanging out), and he just disappeared from my friend group afterward. I still don't know if its out of embarrassment (because I would have gone back to normal and pretended it never happened if he wanted me to) or if he had just been a part of my group because of me the whole time.
Actually, out of everyone who has outright asked to become more than friends, we always just drift away.

I admit that I need some time to myself afterwards, but it doesn't mean I want to lose the friendship altogether. It's guilt that eats at me. And that is what society has done to girls. We feel bad about saying 'no' when we shouldn't be. We feel bad for disappointing someone and saying no to their advances. Some guys take 'no' really well, in my experience, but others tend to act like total dicks, which I, again, have experience with. I don't know how this even happens since I rarely leave my house, or perhaps this is the reason I don't leave my house. I guess that is something to ponder for another time.

And also, girls have been forced to lie in today's society too. Most of the time, beginning from even age 4, a girl will say 'sorry, but I like someone else', and while they are sometimes telling the truth, this is mainly a lie to get people away from them. Some believe that this eases the disappointment, whilst others feel it is a safer option because it then looks like there is another guy in the picture that could potentially protect her, if her saying no to someone ever morphed into a violent attack. It's a scary experience saying no. Guys can say that they're nice and all, but all 7 billion people on the planet don't exactly get a memo saying 'Yeah lads, by the way, Steve is a nice guy and won't try to attack you if you turn him down'.

The friend zone isn't the be all and end all, because at the end of the day if you actually like that person you won't want them disappearing from your life and would be content being their friend. You can't demonize someone for saying no, and for not seeing you in the way you demand to be seen. If anything it means that there is someone out there waiting for you that you haven't met yet.

We live in a society where films are made where women are best friends with a guy and then end up together in the end, Pretty in Pink, The Princess Diaries, etc. It tells girls that this is the way that things should be and that the way to get a girl is to basically be manipulative and pretend to be a friend. Don't get me wrong, some of the friendships are real with no other hidden agendas.

Also, women face the friend zone just as much as men.

I know of a girl who has been seriously friend zoned, and it burns. But she tries, in her defense, to clear her head of him and to move on with her life, meeting new people, and talking to other guys, because she knows that at the root of it all, she has better in store for her, much better. And I admire her on so many levels. I think she's brave, and I'm seriously honored to have the privilege of knowing her.
Actually I know a girl back home in the same position too. In fact I see women coming forward more often, having 'fallen victim' to the friend-zone, although they don't complain about it as much and dedicate Tumblr blogs to it.

Oh and one last point. If someone refers to themselves as a 'nice guy' but are complaining because their advances were shot down, then that doesn't make them nice, it means they are a self-entitled asshole. So don't start buying into those Psychology Today articles on how to escape or avoid the Friend Zone, because that, my friends, is manipulation, and you wouldn't like someone doing that to you, now would you?

Eyebrow Fashion

Growing up for me, fashion wasn't something I was overall interested. I think that, looking back now, I always saw how subjective the concept of fashion really was.

The whole concept of 'dressing up' was wearing your best clothes that you rarely ever wore, and put on some make up, again rarely worn.

I don't know if its an age thing, a change in society, if I ignored it originally, or if its the fact that I am now living in another society, but make-up seems to be much more of a daily thing nowadays. And while I feel the need to inform people that they don't need it and that as long as they are happy with themselves its okay, I still enjoy wearing eyeliner everyday.

I think the biggest thing that had me noticing eyebrow fashion in today's society, was the fact I now live near Liverpool and have come face to face with the infamous 'scouse-brow'. When done correctly  this can actually look pretty cool, but if over done, it can lead to certain ridicule.

But one thing that everyone seems to be obsessed with nowadays, when tending to their make-up, is eyebrows.

Whether it is done using clear mascara, eyebrow pencil or eyeshadow, people seems to be hell bent on achieving the perfect brows to furrow in class, work, or in the middle of a good book on the train home.

Admittedly, when I was younger I used to cut the eyes out of old Avon catalogues, in the hopes of learning all the different ways to apply and blend eyeshadows, always looking for the perfect winged eyeliner on my top lids, but now it seems everyone wants the perfectly defined eyebrow.

Some tweeze, others wax, and sometimes you even get people who just shave them altogether and draw them on from scratch in a 1920's, silent cinema sort of way. Some even decide to just tattoo them on.

I don't hate this fashion, I admit that it is sometimes ridiculous the way that people go about it but if it makes someone feel good about themselves, then they shouldn't feel upset for doing something that makes them happy. I now find myself watching TV and observing the eyebrows of the actresses and try to take care of my own, but not really to the extent where I mascara them or draw on them, I tried the latter once and it just grew to be a chore I hated and didn't see any result in.

Whether you  want them as thin as Jean Harlow, or as thick as Frieda Kahlo, don't let your eyebrows dominate your life. Do whatever you want with them, just try to make them become time consuming, or really unrealistic. You don't want to forget their function to keep sweat and dirt from your eyes, or how they originally look, unlike some people.

Four eyebrows? Must beat a record of some sort.

Disclaimer: None of these pictures are mine, all credit belongs to the respected owners.