Can't Touch This

Today I ended up drunk because I was scared of an interaction between myself, a friend, and two strange men,

It's a pretty abrupt entry to this blog post. But it's the truth. And I'm writing this because I'm sick of men grabbing me. Like really, I'm totally bloody sick of it.

So today I went Christmas shopping with a really good friend of mine. It was going great. We got some Secret Santa stuff, and presents for others, and then decided to get a drink. Me, being me, I decided to go to an Irish pub I haven't been to since my 18th birthday, and decided to introduce my friend to it. It's actually a really nice pub, hidden away, a total gem in Liverpool if you ask me.

So I went to the bar and was told that they were doing a deal on two drinks and decided on two big bottles of cider, with the intention of spending over an hour there and to enjoy the Irish music. Let's face it, most Irish bars don't play REAL Irish music, and coming up to Christmas I'm bound to feel homesick.

My friend goes for two drinks too and takes a seat next to me, ready to enjoy a nice chat and some music, when all of a sudden two random fellas decide to approach us. They must've been in their forties or something (and we're only 19 and 21). They want to know our names (fake ones are given to them) they want to know where we are from (they also claim that we are probably related to our entire villages #racism). One uses derogatory terms towards lesbians and also insists that we dance, which I repeatedly and quite blatantly refuse.

Then he copped onto my tattoo on my arm and repeatedly asks what it is of and also why do I have it? It shocks him why I would ever want a tattoo. I didn't tell him. I played dumb, as I usually do. I don't have to explain my body, or any forms of ink on my body. My personal reasons are my own. And if you don't like that, you can piss off.

While all of this was going on, I was trying to chug down my 2 pints, in under half an hour so I could make a run for it as soon as I saw an opening. Eventually, they disappeared (Where to, I haven't the slightest) and we ran to the nearest friend's apartment. It was horrible.

I had gone to that pub with the intention of having a quiet and slow few drinks, enjoy music, and talk to one of my best friends. Instead, this guy barges in, uses derogatory words, and demands answers from me about my body, and also that I dance with him.

And the worst part of it all?

He fucking touched me!

I'm fine with brushing against someone's arm or lightly turning them by the arm (even though I wouldn't dare do it myself) but he literally ruffled my hair and started touching my head. And the worst of the worst?

This isn't the first time!

Less than 6 months before, a man in a bar caught me by the arm and wouldn't let go. And before that? A man forcefully caught my arm and forced my hand away from my face. And that friend of mine? Was groped by a stranger less than a month ago. Why do some people think it is okay and appropriate to grab people? Why do some people seem some fucking entitled?

I am sick and tired of people grabbing me and my friends. I am sick and tired of double standards, towards both men and women. But these men are the reason that there are some feminists in the world who are radically anti-men.

There are some genuine guys out there but these guys give the rest of them a bad name, just as radical feminists give us other feminists a bad name.

Besmirching of reputations aside. Please stop bloody touching me! I am not your property! I don't owe you anything! Women don't do this to you so why do you think that this is okay? How on earth are you entitled to me? I am not going to dance, drink, or sleep with you! Yes, some women may consent, but not me! So don't touch me!

You don't know the people that you approach. They could be assault victims, they could like women, they could be asexual, they could have any back story! And you are not allowed to lose your shit and get angry with them about it! In the case of victims, they are who they are because some other asshole kinda like you turned up one day and felt entitled to someone else's body and that is not okay. You cannot  go around doing this. It is so uncomfortable having people touch you with your consent.

You have no idea how scary it is!

Do you know what it is like to be underage and have a drunk guy refuse to let go of you, and fear the idea of possibly being raped? I do. It's not nice.

Thankfully someone saved me in time.

But drink is no excuse. If you know that you are a misogynistic and disrespectful asshole when you drink, then it's easy, just don't drink!

This is why girls travel in packs, even to the bathroom. We live in constant fear. We aren't in a society of 'don't attack', sadly we live in a society of 'don't get attacked'. And to be quiet honest, I don't regret leaving those guys and their bags behind.

You can come over and chat to me, Introduce yourself and be nice. But don't insult minorities in front of me and don't you dare lay a finger on me.

Confessions of a Serial Friendzoner.

I promised myself I would get back to updating between now and September, and this is dedicated to a friend of mine I am currently on holiday with, and who I always tend to debate feminist ideology with. This is for you x

Everyone loves to complain.
And when it comes to feminism, or women putting their foot down, they love to complain about being friend-zoned. You know those guys, right? They don't believe in feminism, instead arguing that it does nothing for men? We all know at least one.
It's a topic that seems to re-emerge now and again, and I've noticed it cropping its ugly head up again lately.

I confess, I'm guilty. I've said no to a few guys in my two decades on this planet. Most of them were lovely people, funny, smart, filled with good intentions. And I enjoyed being in their company too. They were some of the best people I got to know in my life, and I would do anything to prevent hurting their feelings just like with my female friends, but what I can't do, is prevent these feelings being hurt if it means compromising myself in the process.

It's not a case of refusing to settle for second best, although to all women, and men, out there I suggest you don't settle for second best.

Wouldn't I be the bigger villain in the story if I were to just say yes and lead these people on, knowing that I don't feel the same way? How do you know what love is if you're not supposed to have felt anything like it before?

Admittedly, whenever I've been asked out, it has just had a negative effect on me. It feels like a horrible joke, and someone is just going to laugh. Or it feels like the other person is just doing it because their settling for second best, and I know that they can do better than me. But this post isn't about my insecurities, it's about giving a voice to all of those people who have been villainized because they friend-zoned someone.  When you are still a friend to someone (thus the title FRIENDzone), it means that that person still cares for the person asking them out and that they still want them around in their life, it doesn't mean that they should just leave once someone says 'no'.
I once said no to a guy I knew for over ten years and he kinda just disappeared in and out of my life for a while. But whenever we meet nowadays we always have great and honest conversations and everything is easy breezy.
There was another guy who asked me out after four years (looking back we weren't even that close of friends when we were hanging out), and he just disappeared from my friend group afterward. I still don't know if its out of embarrassment (because I would have gone back to normal and pretended it never happened if he wanted me to) or if he had just been a part of my group because of me the whole time.
Actually, out of everyone who has outright asked to become more than friends, we always just drift away.

I admit that I need some time to myself afterwards, but it doesn't mean I want to lose the friendship altogether. It's guilt that eats at me. And that is what society has done to girls. We feel bad about saying 'no' when we shouldn't be. We feel bad for disappointing someone and saying no to their advances. Some guys take 'no' really well, in my experience, but others tend to act like total dicks, which I, again, have experience with. I don't know how this even happens since I rarely leave my house, or perhaps this is the reason I don't leave my house. I guess that is something to ponder for another time.

And also, girls have been forced to lie in today's society too. Most of the time, beginning from even age 4, a girl will say 'sorry, but I like someone else', and while they are sometimes telling the truth, this is mainly a lie to get people away from them. Some believe that this eases the disappointment, whilst others feel it is a safer option because it then looks like there is another guy in the picture that could potentially protect her, if her saying no to someone ever morphed into a violent attack. It's a scary experience saying no. Guys can say that they're nice and all, but all 7 billion people on the planet don't exactly get a memo saying 'Yeah lads, by the way, Steve is a nice guy and won't try to attack you if you turn him down'.

The friend zone isn't the be all and end all, because at the end of the day if you actually like that person you won't want them disappearing from your life and would be content being their friend. You can't demonize someone for saying no, and for not seeing you in the way you demand to be seen. If anything it means that there is someone out there waiting for you that you haven't met yet.

We live in a society where films are made where women are best friends with a guy and then end up together in the end, Pretty in Pink, The Princess Diaries, etc. It tells girls that this is the way that things should be and that the way to get a girl is to basically be manipulative and pretend to be a friend. Don't get me wrong, some of the friendships are real with no other hidden agendas.

Also, women face the friend zone just as much as men.

I know of a girl who has been seriously friend zoned, and it burns. But she tries, in her defense, to clear her head of him and to move on with her life, meeting new people, and talking to other guys, because she knows that at the root of it all, she has better in store for her, much better. And I admire her on so many levels. I think she's brave, and I'm seriously honored to have the privilege of knowing her.
Actually I know a girl back home in the same position too. In fact I see women coming forward more often, having 'fallen victim' to the friend-zone, although they don't complain about it as much and dedicate Tumblr blogs to it.

Oh and one last point. If someone refers to themselves as a 'nice guy' but are complaining because their advances were shot down, then that doesn't make them nice, it means they are a self-entitled asshole. So don't start buying into those Psychology Today articles on how to escape or avoid the Friend Zone, because that, my friends, is manipulation, and you wouldn't like someone doing that to you, now would you?

Problems That Put People Off of Feminism - Part 2

Here it is, as promised!

The next part of my Feminist Problems.

I could start on ranting about that 'Why We Don't Need Feminism' site, which may be a post for another time, but let's just start discussing something else. I don't want to start off by ranting about something deep and sensitive so, if you think that the first topic is kinda deep, I'm sorry in advance, I tried.

So guess what! Men exist just like we do! And they have emotions, again, just like we do! And they want women safe, you know, their sisters, mothers, aunts, and so on? And they don't want their loved ones being overly sexualised by the media. They exist!! Men aren't monsters! Hurrah! Someone call the press! Quick, we need to contact the Guinness Book of Records!

Radical Feminists, you can put down the lighters and the petroleum, we're safe.



But you know what they don't want?

They don't want women to oppress everyone, which is really what most radicals are looking for, if you think about it. They argue so much about male oppression and the past, that it sounds like all they want is to rule themselves, which sounds hypocritical, as if they want to flip patriarchal oppression for matriarchal oppression. Which kinda contradicts the feminist ideology, don't you think?
'Oh we don't like men because they oppressed us. We're so much better. I know, lets do the same thing back and stoop to this imaginary level!' So now what? We give ourselves a 'Glass Floor'?

So in the men's case its just a case of being stuck between a rock and a hard place. If they ignore these problems, they're seen as misogynistic pigs, and if they try to help, then the feminists don't need the help of these misogynistic pigs. There's just no winning, I'm afraid.

And God help you, if you're a woman that goes against them. You're apparently some Judas, or you're a poor blind little girl that can't see past the brainwashing and socialization, because apparently the patriarchy is making us believe what it wants us to believe.
So even women can't have their own opinions on things.

I'm a feminist. I'm a Liberal though, not Radical. I believe in fair legislation, and if that sometimes works against us, so be it, as long as we are equal. I don't believe that we should sometimes get shorter prison sentences just because we have different body parts and functions to that of a man. If a woman kills someone, she actually picked up a weapon and killed someone. Her boobs didn't accidentally pick up a gun and fire, her 'time of the month' didn't make her lose the plot and attack someone. Murder is murder. And I admit, there are cases where the accused may actually be innocent, but hundreds of men in the past have been imprisoned while innocent, some even executed! We shouldn't be left off the hook just because we have the ability to give birth!
But on the other hand, fair legislation means no more discussing pay gaps or unfair job dismissals, it means equality in the work place for both men and women, meaning we won't just stop moaning about fair pay, but men will able to properly have Paternity Leave when they become parents.

Something I've been known to say in the past is 'women have the right to have wages similar to mens and not to be treated like meat'.

And while I've just argued fair legislation, I think I'll turn to objectifying and ogling the opposite sex now.

Feminism really argues equality at the end of the day, and not all of us want to burn our bras and kick men around. And I admit that I don't like the hyper-sexualisation of women in the media. I don't like how we have to be skinny, I don't like how we have to feel forced to dress a certain way, I don't like the fact that we need to look good for men all the time (this ain't the 50's anymore) and I most definitely don't like the fact that we aren't allowed to age in the media! Everyone is giving poor Renee Zellwegger so much shit for looking different, but she only went under the knife and did that to herself because of public opinion and pressure from the media! (I plan on writing about this whole thing some time).
In a way, it is like the media are forcing us to dress in such a way that we look like the meat, that we are apparently treated as. Johnny Depp is 52 and everyone is fine with it, but the moment a female celebrity turns 40 she needs botox. Kim Kardashian already gets it and she's what, in her late 20's, early 30's? When my mother was that age, she was getting a job in a store and investing in a boiler, not botox.

Let's get something straight here.
I'm a straight, feminist, female, and I like to stare at men! There, I said it. I went to visit my friend the other day and we spent half an hour on Google Images just staring at hot male celebrities. And sometimes when I'm in Liverpool and I see a good looking guy, I'll turn to be friends as if to say 'is he real?'
My point is, women stare at men, and men stare at women. It's not a one sided thing. Men get into trouble for it. The reason that we have a problem with this staring scenario, as women, is the fact that men, more often than not, start shouting obscenities at passing women and some of us don't like it. I admire Lena Dunham for admitting that she enjoys the catcalling. Every woman deserves to be proud of herself and her appearance, and it takes a big person to admit to something that is seen as a social stigma. Mental illness was a stigma years ago, and now it's almost 'fashionable' to suffer from anxiety. So by the time I'm retiring, it may be fashionable to say you like the opposite sex shouting at you across the road, about wanting you to sit on their knee.
But think about it, what are you more likely to see, a group of men calling to a woman, or a group of women calling to a man?

I know that Lena Dunham is actually being slated at the moment over her new book, which I have in the house now, so once that's read make sure to look out for my review.
But back to the original topic, we stare at each other. Evolutionary Theory states that we stare at each other because genetically, we want to reproduce with one another to keep those genes going! It's simply science, and you can't just deny it because Darwin was a man.

But seriously men, cut out the whistling, it's really annoying. Even if you're a chav or just trying to act like a tough guy. We find it unattractive and you will most certainly not get lucky.

And to be honest, I don't see catcalling ,especially if it's double sided, enough of a reason to warrant phrases like 'kill all men' from feminists. It's sort of the reason none of us feminists are taken seriously and everyone knows that, well apart from the radical feminists themselves.
You're making the rest of us look bad!

And there is so much of this 'kill all men' vibe going around, that no one thinks to actually protect the men! Nobody takes the idea of an abused man seriously. Only lately is the media bringing the whole topic to light, like how a few years ago the Irish soap 'Fair City' dealt with the topic of domestic abuse against Damien, which Leanne was inflicting. She beat him to a pulp, yet everyone thought he was attacking her, or just being clumsy.
Some people would argue that male oppressors have socialized us into thinking that they are strong, invincible beings. But we all have weaknesses and no one ever remembers the unspoken rule of 'you can't hit a woman', so what are men to do when a woman goes to attack them? If he strikes in defense, he apparently warrants every derogatory name under the sun and maybe a prison sentence, and if he doesn't defend himself he's what? Forced to take it?
That just makes men much more vulnerable because they won't be able to admit it. Men are made to grow up thinking that they are strong and need to protect themselves, women and children, so to turn around and to admit defeat like that, is a huge blow to the ego. It takes some serious amount of courage for a man to admit to something like abuse at the hands of a woman.
Not to mention the after math. Women that are abused are offered all forms of councilling, are men offered as much as the women? How are they to trust another woman after? And how are these Radical Feminists helping matters? This is a father, a brother, an uncle, they (the feminists) are basically attacking their own family! I say this because the word 'all' doesn't usually come with any exceptions. So when they say 'kill all men', that is probably including their male relatives, whether they are lesbians or not, they still have fathers and brothers etc.


Did you know there is only one organisation in Ireland for domestically abused men?
A friend of mine told me a few months back that while there are 7500 shelters for female victims of domestic abuse, there are only 60 for men. If that's not shocking, then I don't know what is. The men are basically being ignored! He also went on to tell me that 90% of cases where the male is the victim, the abuser isn't arrested, and also that in 60% of the cases, the men are investigated as the abusers.

Lets just take a step back here.

Why the fuck are people hitting each other in the first place? Should we be sending our kids to workshops, anger management classes and sitting down to discuss feelings? (I'm all for the latter, personally). Gender differences aside, we shouldn't be attacking each other in the first place. We share the planet, we have the food we need, women can provide for themselves and we can get our aggression out through sports. So we are we even attacking each other? And do these people even think of their children.
When I was a kid I witnessed an accident that resulted in a lot of blood, and I sometimes think that it effected 5 year old me and somehow shaped my personality. Now, that was in no way connected to domestic abuse, but it had such a profound effect on me, that I can't imagine what must go through the heads of people who come from households where violence was the norm.

I get the fact that we can hate each other. Women hate women, men can hate men, we can all hate the opposite sex while we're at it too, we all have enemies either online or offline.But, fuck 'em. What good are they in our lives? We know they must be nice to other people, have relatives and loved ones, and we know that violence is wrong. So we're not exactly going to track them down and throttle them, are we?

But I really think that we need someone to argue on behalf of men.

They really are stuck between a rock and a hard place. They can't hit anyone in defense, they can't stare at us, and they can't even give a compliment without it being harassment.

Yes folks, I'm now starting to get into the murky subject of sexual harassment.

The definition of rape is constantly argued by feminists. So here is my take on it:
'Unwanted and non-consensual sex at the present time of said thing occurring'

That sound legitimate enough for you? It does to me.

Now it is a bad thing. We all know. I've had friends that this has happened to and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I'm not denying that the world is a scary place and there are some pretty dangerous people out there. But some feminists are defining it a little too broadly for my liking. It has actually been made so broad that women are now claiming rape after regretting sleeping with a man the next day! Excuse me missy, but you were all for it last night, so that wasn't rape. That's you just being picky and trying to prevent yourself from feeling awkward the next day.
I admit there are drugs out there that alter your senses and very manipulative people that groom others. Some I'm trying not to generalize here. I'm here to slate radical feminists, not anyone effected by real rape cases. This broadness is making it more difficult for the real victims.
They don't want to go to a group counselling session, being forced to relieve that horrible moment, only to hear someone going 'yeah I slept with him, then realized it was a total mistake'

Okay, now I may understand why we sometimes opt to attack each other.

But with a movement as big as the radical feminist movement, and it's domination of certain sites like Tumblr, why are they not using their influence to solve serious issues? Like the mutation of female genitalia in the East? Or the fact that women in Saudi Arabia can't drive? What about the right to female education? Or the right for women to work? Why are they wasting their time just nagging everyone here in the West when they aren't really doing anything, except said nagging?
Do us a favour lassies, give a hand to the genuinely oppressed.
Oh sorry, is referring to people of my own gender as 'lassies' harassment? I wasn't informed. I usually don't mind it when people refer to me as a 'lass'

 And with that I will leave you. The final (and this time I mean it) bit to this little feminist rant shouldn't take as long as this one did, and it will look a bit into religion, and a bit more.
Thanks for reading!

Don't Call Me Baby

Before you judge, no this isn't a post that revolves around a song by Madison Avenue, and it's not a feminist rant either....well not a radical one, it may be a little feminist-y.

If you like your partner calling you 'baby', that's your own prerogative, fair play to you. I have nothing bad to say to you! You like it, it works for you, well done. Or maybe you prefer being called 'baby cakes' or 'sweet cheeks', the last one just makes me think of pimps and prostitutes, to be quite honest.

I like terms like 'doll face' and 'luv', don't get me wrong. But more in a maternal way towards children, or if I'm pretending to be The Joker on Halloween. Other than that, I'm not exactly one for terms of endearment. Maybe people need the reassurance that their partner still wants to put up with them, but for people like me (who find the idea of love questionable) I really can't stand being called these things.

Feminists will argue that men are demeaning us and sending up back centuries by giving us these nicknames. Men will fight back with 'what do you women want?!'

I have to say, I'm kinda feeling sorry for the men here. I'm not saying that I'm superior as a woman, I'm just saying that women wreck the heads of other women, not just men. Trust me, I see it everyday. Where else do you think cat fights come out of?

I was reading this psychology article this morning about how the whole nickname thing is all about making sure that the other party knows that they love them, and as some sort of way to subconsciously find out that the feeling was reciprocated. It's clever, if you really think about it. Subtly asking the eternal question of, 'you sick of me yet?'.

People have this irrational fear of dying alone, so much to the point that they have now resorted to 'Mine for dinner baby?', or 'Hey toots, wanna come up Saturday?'

Life is not a cheesy movie. We're not going to the dance with the hottest guy in school only to end up dating our friends, and we are not going to end up marrying and successfully keeping our first boyfriends/girlfriends.

Don't think I'm being negative. No one here will die alone, because people are never alone, no matter how much they feel it. I don't believe in first relationships, and I may question love in general, but I don't want to be the Grinch and steal everyone's relationships. I wish everyone the best of luck, I just don't want people to be calling me 'baby'.

It's almost paedophilic, its weird, its wrong. And I don't see why 'baby'. Of the millions of words and nouns within the dictionary, WHY BABY?!

It's a tiny human. It's a newborn. Not a fully grown woman that can buys her own drinks and watches documentries on serial killers!

So you might want to ask people when you run into them, whether or not they like the term. Or better yet, when you see me at a bar (which I highly doubt), don't call me 'baby'.

Trusting Men?

As mentioned in a previous post, I became close to my mother over the past few years. This is not only because I happened to stumble upon an amazing book that gave me confidence. It was actually because of a personal thing that had happened within my family at the time. I'm not going to bore you with details, but I will tell you that, as a result of this, I came away from that experience with an awful fear of commitment and of dating men.
Before this, I had never really been a dater, hell, I'm still not. The only boyfriend I ever had, I avoided once it was declared that we were together, so obviously that wasn't a long and fruitful relationship.
But my point is, I find it difficult to trust men, or to tell people that I love them.
I've lived with my college roommate/best friend for almost nine months now, and in that time I've only said it around three times, tops. It's not something that comes lightly to me.
Recently, I read a post on Facebook about some girl who said something along the lines of 'oh men only tell you what you want to hear'. And a part of me was like YEAH! ROCK ON!YOU TELL IT SISTER! While another part of me was saddened by the way that things have gone.

Let us please take a moment to  brush away misogynistic comments and the whole 'men don't have to shave, so why should I?' debacle for now and just look at this from another perspective. I admit, men can be liars, assholes in fact. I complain about them all the time, just as much as I complain about women (just because I'm a feminist doesn't mean that I have to agree or like all women, in fact there's one that I'd love to throttle right now).
But this guy had obviously used this girl and broken her heart. She had jumped into a relationship with him, giving him her time and effort, and he's just tossed her aside like trash! I hate it when all you hear is stories about men telling lies and such rubbish! Men may defend themselves saying 'she's easy' but that is NOT the case. Women talk to men and act confident while dressed up because they want to feel pretty and not wait around for you to make the first move. Why is it that confidence is always confused with being a slut? I'm terrified, perhaps, at the thought of being blinded by some sort of relationship bias, causing me to be vulnerable to happenings such as these!
But for the men here, or those of you thinking that I'm some sort of Radical Feminist, I also freely admit that women can be bitches. Yes we can be absolute whores, have three men going at once, even match men in their lies. These women may also begin to say that the men were 'easy' as some sort of rebuttal to the sexist things said about us, you never know.
I like to think that for every asshole of a man, there is a bitch of a woman.
Everyone has to find some sort of 'diamond in the rough' as it were. There are genuinely good guys out there, whether you're looking for them or not. Christ, most of the music nowadays is all about failing relationships or unattainable partners! I'm sick of it! It's placing a stigma on relationships, for those like me in my position! Perhaps I am terrified of looking like a fool, perhaps I'm subconsciously scared of being too close to someone, or of the confinement of commitment. I honestly can't see myself married, after all, where do I find a guy who's idea of a date is a MacDonalds and a Lord of the Rings marathon? Hell, if I ever felt comfortable enough to marry him I'd have a Game of Thrones styled wedding (minus the deaths of course). And where am I to find a guy like that? 

And with men objectifying women, as proved by the guy on the train leering at me on the way home today, I now give myself full permission to do the same to them. If you are hot as fuck, I will watch you and that is that. And with this self-permission, I have become quite the Picky Penny (shit use of alliteration, I know). I know what physical traits I want, mostly a good head of dark hair and brown eyes. It reminds me of that scene in P.S I Love You when Lisa Kudrow is pulled up on staring at a guys butt and she gives herself full permission for being shallow, because men stared at her tits all the time. ( I feel you there sister)
And just because men can be assholes, don't think that it ends there. It's the same with men treating their partners like shit in gay relationships, just as it is for women being bitches to their partners in lesbian relationships, again proving that women can be just as bad as men.
It's more likely to be publicized or written into a soap opera about men lying and cheating and doing only God knows what else, than for a woman to be caught doing those things, when we obviously can, whether we deem it right or not (although personally I will always see it as wrong, no matter what).
I'm sorry that this post isn't as colourful as they usually are, it was better planned in my head on the train while being stared at.
My point at the end of the day is this: it's so difficult to trust men when it comes to the idea of relationships, but women can be just as lethal. But if you're straight, gay, bi, transgender, or that other one that's been added to posters that I can't remember, just keep in mind that you are always worth it and that you shouldn't take shit from anybody, even if they make you feel inferior or not good enough, then get rid of them. You are your own destiny, and the only person that stands between you and happiness is you and you alone.
I hope that someday, I will over come my trust issues and heal, but until then, I'm gonna be that hot piece of ass that walks around and doesn't get tied down by any man, all I need is my red lipstick and ruffled hair and I'm out that door as an empowered woman, in charge of her own life and happiness, and hopefully so will you too. (lipstick being optional)

xx

All images or not mine, and all rights go to respected photographers and companies.

All comments, discussions and messages are welcome. 

Manipulative Feminism to Beat the Cheeky Patriarchs.

Manipulative Feminism to Beat the Cheeky Patriarchs.

Firstly, welcome to the blog and my first ever post.
In case you don't know, I'm a college gal in England. I was raised in a village in the middle of nowhere and busy Liverpool has been a huge culture shock for me. While all of the girls (or most) shop in River Island or Top Shop, I revert to Primark and secondhand shops. But don't  go thinking that I'm a country bumpkin though, if anything I'm a harsh little leprechaun that swears like a sailor.
But don't worry, this information is relevent...okay maybe not the swearing bit.

Now. That's all sorted.

Today began too early for me. I had to be in Liverpool for 9am, was told I had a test first thing, and ended my 9-4 day with Math and History. On the way out of college, I had to go to the desk to collect this terms Train Pass, and in doing so I was pushed to the back of the line, by a guy and his friends.
I'm a Feminist, but I'm not a radical one. If it had been a group of girls that had done it, I'd be just as equally pissed. But when it happened, I was so angry that I wondered what I could of done to have changed the outcome of that scenario, and I reached the conclusion that if I had worn make up, smiled and perhaps even wore a dress (even though I wore one yesterday) these guys would have left me in my original space.

I was also reminded of a piece of advice my mother gave me when I was a child, when she was driving us home from a day of shopping. She had been trying to pull the car out and needed a fellow driver to let her out, in order to follow a line of cars, and it had been a male driver to let her pass, to which she jokingly said to me "When you drive, make sure to catch the eye of a nice male driver".

Perhaps, if I go against my own lazy morals, and dress up more often and put more effort into my appearance, people will be nicer towards me, or leave me be, instead of push me to the back of the queue. I've been dolled up before and had random passers-by smile (and I admit it's a confidence booster). Also, I refuse to believe that women should go against their own morals for a man, but if I were to do this, I'm in control. I'm getting something out of it, it may not be a full respect and I may be objectified, but I may feel like Marilyn Monroe. People found her to be dim-witted and stupid, yet she was a certified genius that always read, and rarely read fiction at that. She revolutionized feminism in film (pushing the boundaries when it came to wearing clothes on screen) and was also a huge supporter of equal rights.



The only thing that holds me back, is the fact that I'm lazy and would have to wake up at the crack of dawn to apply cheap make up to my face in order to manipulate people, be they women or cheaky men who think they can do what they want, like cheat and skip queues.

I don't want to be one of the girls that starve themselves to pay for Top Shop designer clothes and gets spots because my pores become clogged with make up. I like cheap, outdated, vintage clothing and I like stuffing my face, and even though I may change and put more effort into my appearance and look in the mirror and see myself as being a bit heavy in places, the rest of me will never change. I will forever be the blogging, procrastinating slob that I've always been. After all, it's get my eyebrows done or read fanfiction. And I think we both know which one will win out at this stage.

And the best part, these strangers don't even know they've been mentioned in a blog....plus I didn't miss my train.

xx

I do not own photographers used in this post and all credit and copyright rights goes towards respected photographers and companies.