Women Can't Fucking Swear?!

So while I sit around waiting to watch the new episode of Game of Thrones (because living in the UK can have its cons) I have decided to write a post on a thing that has long irked me.
The fact that people think I can't swear.

Fuck that.
Yes, I'm a female and yes sometimes swearing can be fucking disgusting (see what I did there). But there are so many things that can be said on the topic. Why is it men are less likely to be shouted for swearing? Personally I love to swear, I do it like a sailor and I'm not even aware that I'm doing it most of the time (as my friend once pointed out on the train). Going back to Game of Thrones for a second, one of my favourite lines was when Robert Baratheon said 'Piss on that!' I've taken to saying it too. Hey, I'm so sassy sometimes that I walk in saying 'Waddup bitches!'

Don't worry. I'm not vain, I just like a good sarcastic laugh.
I'm a feminist. I'm not a radical one that says that men are the enemy. I just agree that we should all be seen as equals and that if I want to swear, drink and smoke then I shouldn't be frowned upon for doing so. As I have mentioned in a previous post, I sorta live by the book How To Be A Woman. And within those pages the author talks about encountering sexism and beginning a policy of asking 'do the men do it?'
I find this to be quite a good policy actually.
Think about it. If we, as women, don't shave and accidentally gain a few pounds then everyone jumps up and goes 'you're getting a bit chubby' or 'wow you got some meat on your bones'. Men are repulsed at the idea of a woman having hair on her legs, even though they have it themselves. Women can't be expected to be perfect at every second of everyday. We aren't there just to serve men and appeal to them. Just as we aren't here to be told that we can't fucking swear.
Another of my favourite phrases was something that I began to say around September. This phrase is 'shit the bed' and one of my good friends has currently taking to declaring it also. It's actually quite amusing to watch. It makes me feel proud of myself, passing on a legacy of forever swearing females.
And swearing has also been seen as a proven method of pain relief. If you don't believe me, you should check out the link on the bottom of this post. But if I forget to add it, Stephen Fry did it and you should look it up. But really, if its a pain reliever, then why shouldn't women be entitled to it, we do bleed once a month and give men children after all! I haven't gone through the pain of child birth, but that shit looks hard man. And it'd be bullshit if women were allowed gas and air, epidurals and painkillers, yet no right to swear.

Debra Morgan from Dexter, as played by Jennifer Carpenter

Apparently it's not 'lady like' but if we didn't have women swearers, then we wouldn't have such legendary characters like Deborah Morgan from Dexter, not to mention real life celebrity women who aren't afraid to push society's boundaries and let lose, such as Lily Allen and Courtney Love. 
So let lose my fellow females!
Don't fear four letter words!
In fact, make them as fucking colourful as possible!
Shit that bed
Fuck that bucket
And above all, enjoy every single moment of that shit!
We are independent women, ladies, and if a man doesn't like your mouth or the way you speak, then that's a man that ain't worth it and you need to dump his ass because you are worth so much more.


xx

Link to the Swear Test: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JaY7VTftPdY

All pictures don't belong to me and all credit goes towards respected photographers and companies. This is a none profit blog.

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