Problems That Put People Off of Feminism - Part 2

Here it is, as promised!

The next part of my Feminist Problems.

I could start on ranting about that 'Why We Don't Need Feminism' site, which may be a post for another time, but let's just start discussing something else. I don't want to start off by ranting about something deep and sensitive so, if you think that the first topic is kinda deep, I'm sorry in advance, I tried.

So guess what! Men exist just like we do! And they have emotions, again, just like we do! And they want women safe, you know, their sisters, mothers, aunts, and so on? And they don't want their loved ones being overly sexualised by the media. They exist!! Men aren't monsters! Hurrah! Someone call the press! Quick, we need to contact the Guinness Book of Records!

Radical Feminists, you can put down the lighters and the petroleum, we're safe.



But you know what they don't want?

They don't want women to oppress everyone, which is really what most radicals are looking for, if you think about it. They argue so much about male oppression and the past, that it sounds like all they want is to rule themselves, which sounds hypocritical, as if they want to flip patriarchal oppression for matriarchal oppression. Which kinda contradicts the feminist ideology, don't you think?
'Oh we don't like men because they oppressed us. We're so much better. I know, lets do the same thing back and stoop to this imaginary level!' So now what? We give ourselves a 'Glass Floor'?

So in the men's case its just a case of being stuck between a rock and a hard place. If they ignore these problems, they're seen as misogynistic pigs, and if they try to help, then the feminists don't need the help of these misogynistic pigs. There's just no winning, I'm afraid.

And God help you, if you're a woman that goes against them. You're apparently some Judas, or you're a poor blind little girl that can't see past the brainwashing and socialization, because apparently the patriarchy is making us believe what it wants us to believe.
So even women can't have their own opinions on things.

I'm a feminist. I'm a Liberal though, not Radical. I believe in fair legislation, and if that sometimes works against us, so be it, as long as we are equal. I don't believe that we should sometimes get shorter prison sentences just because we have different body parts and functions to that of a man. If a woman kills someone, she actually picked up a weapon and killed someone. Her boobs didn't accidentally pick up a gun and fire, her 'time of the month' didn't make her lose the plot and attack someone. Murder is murder. And I admit, there are cases where the accused may actually be innocent, but hundreds of men in the past have been imprisoned while innocent, some even executed! We shouldn't be left off the hook just because we have the ability to give birth!
But on the other hand, fair legislation means no more discussing pay gaps or unfair job dismissals, it means equality in the work place for both men and women, meaning we won't just stop moaning about fair pay, but men will able to properly have Paternity Leave when they become parents.

Something I've been known to say in the past is 'women have the right to have wages similar to mens and not to be treated like meat'.

And while I've just argued fair legislation, I think I'll turn to objectifying and ogling the opposite sex now.

Feminism really argues equality at the end of the day, and not all of us want to burn our bras and kick men around. And I admit that I don't like the hyper-sexualisation of women in the media. I don't like how we have to be skinny, I don't like how we have to feel forced to dress a certain way, I don't like the fact that we need to look good for men all the time (this ain't the 50's anymore) and I most definitely don't like the fact that we aren't allowed to age in the media! Everyone is giving poor Renee Zellwegger so much shit for looking different, but she only went under the knife and did that to herself because of public opinion and pressure from the media! (I plan on writing about this whole thing some time).
In a way, it is like the media are forcing us to dress in such a way that we look like the meat, that we are apparently treated as. Johnny Depp is 52 and everyone is fine with it, but the moment a female celebrity turns 40 she needs botox. Kim Kardashian already gets it and she's what, in her late 20's, early 30's? When my mother was that age, she was getting a job in a store and investing in a boiler, not botox.

Let's get something straight here.
I'm a straight, feminist, female, and I like to stare at men! There, I said it. I went to visit my friend the other day and we spent half an hour on Google Images just staring at hot male celebrities. And sometimes when I'm in Liverpool and I see a good looking guy, I'll turn to be friends as if to say 'is he real?'
My point is, women stare at men, and men stare at women. It's not a one sided thing. Men get into trouble for it. The reason that we have a problem with this staring scenario, as women, is the fact that men, more often than not, start shouting obscenities at passing women and some of us don't like it. I admire Lena Dunham for admitting that she enjoys the catcalling. Every woman deserves to be proud of herself and her appearance, and it takes a big person to admit to something that is seen as a social stigma. Mental illness was a stigma years ago, and now it's almost 'fashionable' to suffer from anxiety. So by the time I'm retiring, it may be fashionable to say you like the opposite sex shouting at you across the road, about wanting you to sit on their knee.
But think about it, what are you more likely to see, a group of men calling to a woman, or a group of women calling to a man?

I know that Lena Dunham is actually being slated at the moment over her new book, which I have in the house now, so once that's read make sure to look out for my review.
But back to the original topic, we stare at each other. Evolutionary Theory states that we stare at each other because genetically, we want to reproduce with one another to keep those genes going! It's simply science, and you can't just deny it because Darwin was a man.

But seriously men, cut out the whistling, it's really annoying. Even if you're a chav or just trying to act like a tough guy. We find it unattractive and you will most certainly not get lucky.

And to be honest, I don't see catcalling ,especially if it's double sided, enough of a reason to warrant phrases like 'kill all men' from feminists. It's sort of the reason none of us feminists are taken seriously and everyone knows that, well apart from the radical feminists themselves.
You're making the rest of us look bad!

And there is so much of this 'kill all men' vibe going around, that no one thinks to actually protect the men! Nobody takes the idea of an abused man seriously. Only lately is the media bringing the whole topic to light, like how a few years ago the Irish soap 'Fair City' dealt with the topic of domestic abuse against Damien, which Leanne was inflicting. She beat him to a pulp, yet everyone thought he was attacking her, or just being clumsy.
Some people would argue that male oppressors have socialized us into thinking that they are strong, invincible beings. But we all have weaknesses and no one ever remembers the unspoken rule of 'you can't hit a woman', so what are men to do when a woman goes to attack them? If he strikes in defense, he apparently warrants every derogatory name under the sun and maybe a prison sentence, and if he doesn't defend himself he's what? Forced to take it?
That just makes men much more vulnerable because they won't be able to admit it. Men are made to grow up thinking that they are strong and need to protect themselves, women and children, so to turn around and to admit defeat like that, is a huge blow to the ego. It takes some serious amount of courage for a man to admit to something like abuse at the hands of a woman.
Not to mention the after math. Women that are abused are offered all forms of councilling, are men offered as much as the women? How are they to trust another woman after? And how are these Radical Feminists helping matters? This is a father, a brother, an uncle, they (the feminists) are basically attacking their own family! I say this because the word 'all' doesn't usually come with any exceptions. So when they say 'kill all men', that is probably including their male relatives, whether they are lesbians or not, they still have fathers and brothers etc.


Did you know there is only one organisation in Ireland for domestically abused men?
A friend of mine told me a few months back that while there are 7500 shelters for female victims of domestic abuse, there are only 60 for men. If that's not shocking, then I don't know what is. The men are basically being ignored! He also went on to tell me that 90% of cases where the male is the victim, the abuser isn't arrested, and also that in 60% of the cases, the men are investigated as the abusers.

Lets just take a step back here.

Why the fuck are people hitting each other in the first place? Should we be sending our kids to workshops, anger management classes and sitting down to discuss feelings? (I'm all for the latter, personally). Gender differences aside, we shouldn't be attacking each other in the first place. We share the planet, we have the food we need, women can provide for themselves and we can get our aggression out through sports. So we are we even attacking each other? And do these people even think of their children.
When I was a kid I witnessed an accident that resulted in a lot of blood, and I sometimes think that it effected 5 year old me and somehow shaped my personality. Now, that was in no way connected to domestic abuse, but it had such a profound effect on me, that I can't imagine what must go through the heads of people who come from households where violence was the norm.

I get the fact that we can hate each other. Women hate women, men can hate men, we can all hate the opposite sex while we're at it too, we all have enemies either online or offline.But, fuck 'em. What good are they in our lives? We know they must be nice to other people, have relatives and loved ones, and we know that violence is wrong. So we're not exactly going to track them down and throttle them, are we?

But I really think that we need someone to argue on behalf of men.

They really are stuck between a rock and a hard place. They can't hit anyone in defense, they can't stare at us, and they can't even give a compliment without it being harassment.

Yes folks, I'm now starting to get into the murky subject of sexual harassment.

The definition of rape is constantly argued by feminists. So here is my take on it:
'Unwanted and non-consensual sex at the present time of said thing occurring'

That sound legitimate enough for you? It does to me.

Now it is a bad thing. We all know. I've had friends that this has happened to and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I'm not denying that the world is a scary place and there are some pretty dangerous people out there. But some feminists are defining it a little too broadly for my liking. It has actually been made so broad that women are now claiming rape after regretting sleeping with a man the next day! Excuse me missy, but you were all for it last night, so that wasn't rape. That's you just being picky and trying to prevent yourself from feeling awkward the next day.
I admit there are drugs out there that alter your senses and very manipulative people that groom others. Some I'm trying not to generalize here. I'm here to slate radical feminists, not anyone effected by real rape cases. This broadness is making it more difficult for the real victims.
They don't want to go to a group counselling session, being forced to relieve that horrible moment, only to hear someone going 'yeah I slept with him, then realized it was a total mistake'

Okay, now I may understand why we sometimes opt to attack each other.

But with a movement as big as the radical feminist movement, and it's domination of certain sites like Tumblr, why are they not using their influence to solve serious issues? Like the mutation of female genitalia in the East? Or the fact that women in Saudi Arabia can't drive? What about the right to female education? Or the right for women to work? Why are they wasting their time just nagging everyone here in the West when they aren't really doing anything, except said nagging?
Do us a favour lassies, give a hand to the genuinely oppressed.
Oh sorry, is referring to people of my own gender as 'lassies' harassment? I wasn't informed. I usually don't mind it when people refer to me as a 'lass'

 And with that I will leave you. The final (and this time I mean it) bit to this little feminist rant shouldn't take as long as this one did, and it will look a bit into religion, and a bit more.
Thanks for reading!

Feminist Punk Ain't Dead

So last night I went all the way to Manchester with my housemate who, last year while going to see Kate Nash, fell in love with an all-girl rock group called The Tuts.

When I first moved to England she played the album for me and I thought that they were quite cool and then got on with my life, but after last night all I want to do is play them really loudly and sing along until my voice hurts. Alas, I can't because I don't want to piss off the other people in the house, or use the scary word 'feminism', so I'm currently under the guise of doing college work while listening to Johnny Cash instead.

Firstly, The Fallow in Manchester is an amazing venue. When I first walked in, I was like 'this is nice and all but are we in the right building?', only to venture upstairs and find another bar and a small make-shift stage in the corner.
I'd already mixed some Jack Daniels in with my Burger King coke so I was fine in the alcohol department, and I was eager to see the first band, who appeared in the form of two people known as 'The Lab Rats'.

Lab Rats

This guy and gal duo, upon seeing them, had me thinking 'woah this is going to be heavy stuff', until the girl started singing with her acoustic guitar and the guy cracked out a mandolin. Again, I tried to predict the sound and only came up with something along the lines of REM.
Again I was wrong, they were political yet melodical and not over done. While I watched them I silently hoped they had an EP to sell afterwards, which they don't but you can find them on Band Camp. Their songs spoke of the social inequalities within the country, and I have to admit, it was a nice change from 'he loves me/she broke up with me yadda yadda'. With their instruments decked out in stickers and anarchy pictures, they musically combated all of the issues that plague us young people. These are certainly a group whose album I would track down, and try to see live again. Definitely recommended.


El Morgan

The second musical act that came on, consisted of two blonde women. Both took turns playing the acoustic guitar, and both gave me Stevie Nicks/Haim vibes. I think they were called El Morgan, now I could be wrong, I couldn't hear when they spoke and I'm just going by the venue listings, and process of elimination since my Google is acting up.
Easy listening, and as my friend described 'it's as if Elbow and Laura Marling had a baby'.
Again, this act can be found on Band Camp, and again I recommend them highly. I'd probably play them while driving (if I could), or lighting incense and looking for some chill time. Who knows, they might be picked up and you'll see them in a deep scene where the protagonist looks out  the window, dramatically.

The Tuts!

And then, the ladies of the night, The Tuts came on!
We'd seen them walking around, and even though I'd stood next to them earlier on (with my silent internal fangirl attacks), I couldn't get over how nice they were.
Between songs they were very interactive with the crowd, reminding everyone of how they're just like the rest of us, humans with day jobs, and even went so far as to go into the crowd while simultaneously playing!
They were loud, fast,and didn't give a shit. And just like the Lab Rats before them, they didn't waste any time singing about break ups or men. They were empowering, and I definitely saw why Kate Nash chose them as her support when she was touring the UK.
It's nice to see all-girl groups. We don't have enough women in rock, all I can think of is The Runaways and Hole, but even at that Courtney Love had  Eric Erlandson with her.
And it's not just rock, but drumming. The Tuts have a great drummer on their hands, easily bypassing Meg White, I'd rank her up there with Patty Schemel.
This time I don't have to say that I need to hunt down their albums as I got an album, shirt and badges right after the show. And luckily, they're on spotify!

Sadly, I didn't get to see the rest of the acts last night as I had to leave early, but I bet they would of been amazing.

It's good nights, with great bands like these that make college life worth it.

Disclaimer: I don't own the images as I was too short and the uber-fans had pushed to the front. I also only have a stupid little shitty blackberry with horrible camera quality.

The Uisce (Water) War

Well it has been in the news. It's been covered by the BBC (well only the BBC, if you believe that the RTE and TV3 is being censored because the owner apparently runs the water commission now too) and protested over with the past week or so, and being an Irish immigrant, always trying to keep up with the news of home, it was inevitable that I would eventually get my say in the water charges debate.

Please just keep in it mind that I'm not a lawyer or an economist, I am merely a person with an opinion that you may not agree with.

First of all, I just want to say that I find it atrociously unconstitutional. Surely there must have been some sort of referendum in advance? These protests have actually been going on a year, they've only been kicked into overdrive with the introduction of water meters, since the whole country refused to pay bills and standard charges originally, after the introduction of last years budget!
Water is a life necessity, and to have a price put on that without the consent of the people is ridiculous! I admit that the country needs more revenue and income if it is ever to leave this recession, but it is not okay when it is money being taken from the pockets of the people with no say in the matter!
If that's the case, would you like a kidney and a cup of tea while you're at it?

Also, apparently there was a report about a family in County Monaghan with 13 children that has calculated that with all of the water they would need to use in a year, they would be forced to pay almost 4,000 euro. What about these people with large families? Or those supporting parents and have them living with them, because they can't afford a nursing home in the first place? Also, will the introduction of these water charges mean an increase in the charges for nursing nursing homes? After all, residents will need water too, and any care assistant or nurse will tell you that it is incredibly important to remain hydrated when you are in your old age.

And yes, many countries already pay water charges and they are perfectly happy with it, they're used to it, they most likely paid them before they, themselves, had ended up in a recession too..

But if you think about it, with Dublin's new housing boom, homelessness is increasing, which shows how much people are struggling! So if people are struggling that much, then what makes the government and those in charge think that anyone can afford to pay for water? What about single parents expected to pay for the water that allows for drinking, showering, washing and cooking?

Plus, parts of Ireland still has dirty water that cannot be used, yet people in these regions are being forced to pay water rates, on top of their weekly bottles of water. This is just downright disgraceful. And as happy as I am to hear that the government is meant to be giving households an extra 8 euro per week, it annoys me that they still expect people to pay these charges with the money! It's like they're paying for us to pay. It's confusing, it almost becomes like a new version of 'what came first, the chicken or the egg?'

I'm sure that this could be fought from the perspective of the Human Rights Act....I mean I'm almost sure. I haven't looked into it. But surely there should be some law saying that everyone is entitled to sanitation, or to be clean or hydrated!

Also, could these charges come at any worse a time? It's October, the storms are beginning. Cork is flooded again! Thunder and lightening has been going all week! People need to buy oil, gas, coal, timber for fires! They have families to keep warm and healthy! These costs are beginning to accumulate, and everyone is expected to pay for water on top of that?! What if a pipe were to burst and water went everywhere? Would we be liable to pay for that water too? The water that will probably freeze over and maybe cause someone to fall, maybe cracking their head open?
Christmas is just around the corner and families are already struggling, so really, if the government is to introduce these new water measures, why not start last May?



But if you look at it in another sense, we are coming up to the centenary of the 1916 Easter Rising, and I'm pretty sure that with this big even coming up (one that is sure to attract tourism and people tracing their genealogical roots) people will be angered to look back on these people who died for a Free Ireland, only for it to be as badly off as it is now, and trying every method possible to extract money from the people against their will, in this case through water charges.

Hopefully, I will be returning home to Ireland this month for my birthday, but at the rate things are going I won't be going out for celebratory drinks. I may be standing with my family protesting out in the cold instead.

As someone who has immigrated because of the state of the Irish economy, these water charges were most likely be another push factor for young people and workers, causing them to leave too. And if this happens, we may see a bigger number of people immigrating than was seen in the recession of the 1980's.

None of these pictures are mine and are used to only get my point across.
Comments are welcome.

Don't Call Me Baby

Before you judge, no this isn't a post that revolves around a song by Madison Avenue, and it's not a feminist rant either....well not a radical one, it may be a little feminist-y.

If you like your partner calling you 'baby', that's your own prerogative, fair play to you. I have nothing bad to say to you! You like it, it works for you, well done. Or maybe you prefer being called 'baby cakes' or 'sweet cheeks', the last one just makes me think of pimps and prostitutes, to be quite honest.

I like terms like 'doll face' and 'luv', don't get me wrong. But more in a maternal way towards children, or if I'm pretending to be The Joker on Halloween. Other than that, I'm not exactly one for terms of endearment. Maybe people need the reassurance that their partner still wants to put up with them, but for people like me (who find the idea of love questionable) I really can't stand being called these things.

Feminists will argue that men are demeaning us and sending up back centuries by giving us these nicknames. Men will fight back with 'what do you women want?!'

I have to say, I'm kinda feeling sorry for the men here. I'm not saying that I'm superior as a woman, I'm just saying that women wreck the heads of other women, not just men. Trust me, I see it everyday. Where else do you think cat fights come out of?

I was reading this psychology article this morning about how the whole nickname thing is all about making sure that the other party knows that they love them, and as some sort of way to subconsciously find out that the feeling was reciprocated. It's clever, if you really think about it. Subtly asking the eternal question of, 'you sick of me yet?'.

People have this irrational fear of dying alone, so much to the point that they have now resorted to 'Mine for dinner baby?', or 'Hey toots, wanna come up Saturday?'

Life is not a cheesy movie. We're not going to the dance with the hottest guy in school only to end up dating our friends, and we are not going to end up marrying and successfully keeping our first boyfriends/girlfriends.

Don't think I'm being negative. No one here will die alone, because people are never alone, no matter how much they feel it. I don't believe in first relationships, and I may question love in general, but I don't want to be the Grinch and steal everyone's relationships. I wish everyone the best of luck, I just don't want people to be calling me 'baby'.

It's almost paedophilic, its weird, its wrong. And I don't see why 'baby'. Of the millions of words and nouns within the dictionary, WHY BABY?!

It's a tiny human. It's a newborn. Not a fully grown woman that can buys her own drinks and watches documentries on serial killers!

So you might want to ask people when you run into them, whether or not they like the term. Or better yet, when you see me at a bar (which I highly doubt), don't call me 'baby'.

Wrong First Impressions?

So with work, college and routine back, we are once again struggling with that yearly problem. No I'm not talking about getting out of bed in the morning, but it's just as bad.
It's the fear of making friends.
You know the one I'm talking about. The one where you worry about ending up alone for the rest of the year because the girl at the end of the room looked at you funny, or because that guy from earlier didn't notice when you purposely laughed too loudly.
Out of interest, have any of you ever taken the time to ask one of your friends their first impressions of you? Recently, one of my friends admitted to me that she thought I wouldn't like her because I seemed 'stuck up my own arse'. Now we share innuendos and flirt with each other for a laugh, even though we are both straight and one of us has a boyfriend (it's not me, sadly).
I got thinking after she said this, and I remembered how a guy in my old school had told a girl that he had never befriended her earlier because he was terrified that she would kill him, she just so happened to look that vicious and angry all the time, he was put off.
In reality, she was a lovely girl that I had a lot in common with. She didn't have a criminal record or any bad behaviour in her school files.
But then I got to the inevitable question of, why?
Why did I seem so snobby?
I was a culchie from a field in Ireland. I didn't come from a city like everyone! I came from an agriculturally based village. I didn't go to Top Shop or River Island. My mother sewed up old clothes and I hardly ever went shopping, unless it was down the road for a can of coke!
So I reflected on what I was doing when I first crossed paths with this girl, on the day of my first ever class of Sociology. What with it being a new country, and a new learning environment, I was also afraid about culture clashes and my impression with everyone else. I was so consumed with this fear that I started wearing red lipstick, curling my hair and trying to seem a little bit more...me. More than the girl that came from the middle of nowhere, and more than the girl that lived in jeans and band shirts.

I was also sitting at the other end of the room and trying to make friends with a guy, who I totally ended up falling out with anyway, so I kinda don't blame her for thinking I was some sort of pretentious bitch.
They say that the first impression happens within one tenth of a second. Which is pretty scary. But if this has taught me anything, its that first impressions are best when you look like shit, or you're wearing your oldest clothes with no make up.
Admittedly, both myself and this friend both wear light make up and occasionally dress up, but in the year we've been besties, we've both turned up in shirts going from Jurassic Park, to Ghostbusters. We are total dorks that wink at each other  and act stupid. Which is nothing that you'd expect from me a year ago if you were to see me, with red lipstick, curly hair and my best black coat, asking questions and arguing sociological problems.
Do any of you have any stories about first impressions?
Any of your friends say that they were terrified of you or found you intimidating in any way?
I'd love to hear from you in the comments.

Also, my follow up post on What's Wrong With Feminism shouldn't take too long. Sorry for that delay. I saw how much you all enjoyed it.

And another thing, you may want to keep an eye out on the blog if you watch Sons of Anarchy, I may end up writing about it, now that the final season has started, and you know how much I like me some Courtney Love.

As usual, I don't own the picture and get nothing out of it except a nice bit of colour on my page.

Problems That Put People Off of Feminism- Part 1

So I've admitted this before, the very thing that scares people, frightens them, and makes them immediately jump to the conclusion that I am out for blood, is because of one simple fact.
I am a feminist.
But as a feminist, I disagree with some of my own, including Greer and other radical feminists.

A while ago, a friend of mine said that they were for women's rights, but against feminism. And you know what? It actually made the world of sense. It didn't shake my belief system or anything, every belief system is flawed, religion, democracy and even feminism.

But this particular friend of mine said that they did not think that promoting the rights of only one group of people would ever bring about equality.
Now, my particular view on feminism, is that it stands for everyone, not just women, even though the word 'femme' is in the title.

But what was said next was undeniably true and there was no escaping it.

Feminists deny the rights of male victims of rape and domestic violence.
Let's just take a moment to let that sink in.
In Ireland there is only ONE society for male victims of domestic abuse, and do you even hear about male victims of rape in the media? No, you don't!
It's a horrible thing that happens in our society, you wouldn't wish it your worst enemy and you feel sorry for every woman that is forced to go through such an experience, but the men are forced into silence and it isn't right! We are all human beings and we all have a voice!

Yes, there is a patriarchy, and yes feminists want it abolished, but my branch of feminism doesn't want women to rule, we just want to share the power, but with the way things are going, feminists in charge are silencing these men and it isn't right!

This friend also brought up the subject of feminists against trans women. And he began to spout facts about how partner violence is split male/female 45/55. That's so high it is scary. As a woman, I obviously don't want a woman to be abused, but as a human being I don't want it to happen men to either. And we are really shocked about this number because we expected it to be lower. And do you know why we thought that the statistics of male victims would be low? Because we never hear about it in the media! That's why! We have been brainwashed into believing that men are these powerful and safe beings, when they are just as vulnerable as us.

But seriously, there were stories in this report about women who hit their boyfriends because they said they thought they had breast cancer, (WHICH MEN CAN GET!). Honestly, ask a doctor, hell, ask a FEMALE doctor if you have to. But it will only turn out that men can actually have breast cancer. And what if it turned out that the poor man actually had it too? Then a fully grown woman had wrongly attacked a sick man! Apparently she had been wearing a ring at the time and popped his lip open. No woman would want her boyfriend to do that to her if she had breast cancer, so why would it be considered okay to do that to a man?

And if you try to argue this with some feminists, (ahem you know the website I'm talking about,) they will argue so much that if they can't prove you wrong, or know that you're right, they actually tell you to kill yourself. I've seen cases where friends of mine have been sent messages like this. So you cannot blame some people for disliking feminism.

I've said it on this blog before, on my piece called 'Trusting Men', that for every asshole of a guy, you get a bitch of a woman. And I still stand by that. We aren't all innocent. And people forget this. This forgetfulness is making male victims of abuse a taboo subject.

And you know what? It came as a shock to this person that I am a feminist who agreed with him, as he had been so verbally abused by every other feminist he had ever tried to speak to. I listened and considered logic without screaming at him for being a guy.


I consider myself as more of a liberal feminist, where we need to bring about change through social policy and through legislation, rather than spread a rumor that I burn bras and try out political lesbianism. I admit, women have been oppressed. As an Irish person who grew up learning about Irish history, I learned about how less than 50 years ago women weren't allowed to collect their dole money or children's allowance. And not only this, but once they married, they weren't allowed to work. I've often heard of women trained in colleges in order to work in certain professions, who weren't allowed to work in their dream job in the end, because they were married.
Not being allowed to collect their own money, the job relied soley on the men, who would sometimes squander the money and drink it all, leaving the women to starve, women who would even starve themselves, just so they could feed their kids.

But again, not all men are like that.

And women can be alcoholics too.

Plus, nowadays, there are situations where men are stuck at home and women work. But if these women try to be alcoholics, the men will always have dole to feed the children. Things are always changing, and this shows that in many many ways.

 But this is mainly the West, some women in the East tend to still have it difficult, just as our ancestors did. These women have no respect given to them in marriages, some are married off, some can't choose their husbands, and some aren't given the option of education, let alone further education.

There are 101 problems with women and with being a woman today, but no one can deny that nothing but progress is happening.

Meeting Charlaine Harris

So, today I was given the best present ever, in return for a long day filled with college queues and trying to convince them to let me back for a second year, a present in the form of meeting the author, Charlaine Harris.
Known for her Sookie Stackhouse books, Harris shot to fame after the the books were taken up by HBO and turned into the highly successful True Blood franchise, starring Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer, who play the telepath Sookie Stackhouse and her love interest, the vampire, Bill Compton.

With this being the thing that drew me to her work, it was no wonder that when it came time to think up questions to ask her, all I could think about was True Blood, as I'm sure was the case for a lot of the people in the room with me, as we waited for the arrival of one of the greatest supernatural writers of this generation.
When she finally stepped into the room and took to the mic, she was charming, funny and incredibly witty, telling us that it was okay to ask questions about True Blood and other questions that didn't relate to her current book, as long as they made sense, but not to ask her to allow us to lick her, honestly, she actually said that!

Along with informing a girl that some people may not have read the last of the Sookie books yet, after the girl in question said aloud the name of the person that the lead woman ends up with at the end of the series, she also answered questions regarding locations where her stories are based, how the first book she ever wrote in a creative writing class was picked up and published, and also how her favourite vampire is Lestat (not to mention she corresponds with Anne Rice!)  She also answered my own questions.

When we met Charlaine to get our books signed, I'm the one with the half blonde hair.

As a practising writer myself, I felt the need to ask her about character creation, which made me question whether some of my characters in the past have ever even been needed, or if they were even pivitol enough? I also asked her for her opinion on fan fiction.

Admittedly, I was very worried in asking her this question. Especially after she admitted to talking to Anne Rice regularly, what with Rice being so against fan fiction and all, even to the point where she tried to sue ( This may even be a topic I might blog about some time in the future), I feared that Harris would be very offended by the very idea of fan fiction. I mean, Rice HAD posted this to her website, (warning in advance, it's really from her website and I had nothing to do with the writing of it, I merely copied and pasted, and I get no money out of this blog whatsoever):

"I do not allow fan fiction. The characters are copyrighted. It upsets me terribly to even think about fan fiction with my characters. I advise my readers to write your own original stories with your own characters. It is absolutely essential that you respect my wishes."

But, just as she said that she was all for equal rights, no matter race, gender or sexual orientation, she was also for fan fiction, although she admitted that she didn't understand it, claiming that she had been told to read some after she was offered a position on some board for some convention thing.

So anyway, I ended up being convinced to buy her book, and stand in line for an autograph, while my amazing friend, who surprised me with my ticket, stood beside me with her copy of True Blood, which she had gotten for 50p in a charity shop (the clever bitch, aka sunrisewithmysadcaptains.blogspot.co.uk). When it came our turn, I had to ask if she had read any fan fiction based on her own world, to which she admitted she had. I have to freely state right now, that I am involved with fan fiction and I have never posted any True Blood fan fiction on the net, I mean I considered it, but I had really bad writers block when it came to plots.
Again, she said that she had read it and found it weird, but she wasn't against it, she just doesn't understand it.

The prize of the day, my autograph by one of my favourite authors.

I have to admit, beforehand I was worried about meeting her. After all, they say that you should never meet your heroes. But after today, I have to say that I have no regrets, just as she had said earlier during the Q&A that she had no regrets about anything she's ever written.
She was the nicest woman you could ever meet, definitely someone you'd invite to tea and probably end up having the most fascinating conversations with, and very open minded too. I can't wait for her to come back to Liverpool again, and I will most certainly be starting into that book tonight.

"Midnight Crossroad" is on sale now at all leading bookstores



These photos belong to both me and sunrisewithmysadcaptains.blogspot.co.uk (meganceri.wix.com/meganceri)