Problems That Put People Off of Feminism- Part 1

So I've admitted this before, the very thing that scares people, frightens them, and makes them immediately jump to the conclusion that I am out for blood, is because of one simple fact.
I am a feminist.
But as a feminist, I disagree with some of my own, including Greer and other radical feminists.

A while ago, a friend of mine said that they were for women's rights, but against feminism. And you know what? It actually made the world of sense. It didn't shake my belief system or anything, every belief system is flawed, religion, democracy and even feminism.

But this particular friend of mine said that they did not think that promoting the rights of only one group of people would ever bring about equality.
Now, my particular view on feminism, is that it stands for everyone, not just women, even though the word 'femme' is in the title.

But what was said next was undeniably true and there was no escaping it.

Feminists deny the rights of male victims of rape and domestic violence.
Let's just take a moment to let that sink in.
In Ireland there is only ONE society for male victims of domestic abuse, and do you even hear about male victims of rape in the media? No, you don't!
It's a horrible thing that happens in our society, you wouldn't wish it your worst enemy and you feel sorry for every woman that is forced to go through such an experience, but the men are forced into silence and it isn't right! We are all human beings and we all have a voice!

Yes, there is a patriarchy, and yes feminists want it abolished, but my branch of feminism doesn't want women to rule, we just want to share the power, but with the way things are going, feminists in charge are silencing these men and it isn't right!

This friend also brought up the subject of feminists against trans women. And he began to spout facts about how partner violence is split male/female 45/55. That's so high it is scary. As a woman, I obviously don't want a woman to be abused, but as a human being I don't want it to happen men to either. And we are really shocked about this number because we expected it to be lower. And do you know why we thought that the statistics of male victims would be low? Because we never hear about it in the media! That's why! We have been brainwashed into believing that men are these powerful and safe beings, when they are just as vulnerable as us.

But seriously, there were stories in this report about women who hit their boyfriends because they said they thought they had breast cancer, (WHICH MEN CAN GET!). Honestly, ask a doctor, hell, ask a FEMALE doctor if you have to. But it will only turn out that men can actually have breast cancer. And what if it turned out that the poor man actually had it too? Then a fully grown woman had wrongly attacked a sick man! Apparently she had been wearing a ring at the time and popped his lip open. No woman would want her boyfriend to do that to her if she had breast cancer, so why would it be considered okay to do that to a man?

And if you try to argue this with some feminists, (ahem you know the website I'm talking about,) they will argue so much that if they can't prove you wrong, or know that you're right, they actually tell you to kill yourself. I've seen cases where friends of mine have been sent messages like this. So you cannot blame some people for disliking feminism.

I've said it on this blog before, on my piece called 'Trusting Men', that for every asshole of a guy, you get a bitch of a woman. And I still stand by that. We aren't all innocent. And people forget this. This forgetfulness is making male victims of abuse a taboo subject.

And you know what? It came as a shock to this person that I am a feminist who agreed with him, as he had been so verbally abused by every other feminist he had ever tried to speak to. I listened and considered logic without screaming at him for being a guy.


I consider myself as more of a liberal feminist, where we need to bring about change through social policy and through legislation, rather than spread a rumor that I burn bras and try out political lesbianism. I admit, women have been oppressed. As an Irish person who grew up learning about Irish history, I learned about how less than 50 years ago women weren't allowed to collect their dole money or children's allowance. And not only this, but once they married, they weren't allowed to work. I've often heard of women trained in colleges in order to work in certain professions, who weren't allowed to work in their dream job in the end, because they were married.
Not being allowed to collect their own money, the job relied soley on the men, who would sometimes squander the money and drink it all, leaving the women to starve, women who would even starve themselves, just so they could feed their kids.

But again, not all men are like that.

And women can be alcoholics too.

Plus, nowadays, there are situations where men are stuck at home and women work. But if these women try to be alcoholics, the men will always have dole to feed the children. Things are always changing, and this shows that in many many ways.

 But this is mainly the West, some women in the East tend to still have it difficult, just as our ancestors did. These women have no respect given to them in marriages, some are married off, some can't choose their husbands, and some aren't given the option of education, let alone further education.

There are 101 problems with women and with being a woman today, but no one can deny that nothing but progress is happening.